Grandmother Aitken

I thought I would take a moment and leave a few thoughts here regarding grandparents.

Today would have been my paternal grandmother's 92nd birthday. Marvelous. For certain, Sara "Sally" Ella Tiedeman Aitken was a remarkable woman...and I miss her dearly.

She was born in 1916 - I just can't imagine that; it seems so long ago. And she entered God's arms on the evening of July 26, 2006. Those of you who know me well, know that I speak of her often, and with great pride, by virtue of the fact that she was my grandmother - emphasis on GRAND, to be sure.

Gramps will be 92 on August 1st. And my, how he misses her dearly...how we all do.

I will not go into depth now by sharing moving and sentimental anecdotes, but should you be interested, you are more than welcome to contact me. I am more than welcome to share. But I will however share with you some thoughts that I have on grandparents/grandparenting - thoughts that, should God bless you with extraordinary grandparents, you will find most refreshing and yet all too familiar at the same time.

Firstly, 'Grandparent' means exactly what it says it means. GRAND. A grandmother or grandfather has done its due in the parenting role, and is thereby free to ignore all established parenting rules, much to the parents' beseeching and imploring otherwise. I guess your parents are never on your side. Even when you're the parent. I can't wait.

But anyway, you know what I mean - the extra candy bars, the skipping of 'mandated' afternoon naps, the roadtrips, the unmerited presents and the lazy enforcement of such rules as "Finish your green beans." Grandparents rule.

They do have the important rules down though - You're on your honor, Make me proud, Listen to your mother and father, Practice piano, Be the peacemaker, Go to church, Say your prayers, Don't sweat the small stuff. These are all rules that Gramma lived by and consequently taught me. Far more important than green beans. Goodness, I really do miss her. Are you crying yet? Because I am.

Secondly, a grandchild never sees his grandparents through adult eyes; he always sees his grandparents through child's eyes. Grandparents never seem to get any older (in fact, in partial response to having grandchildren, I think they get younger...). And you never imagine life without them. But that day does inevitably come. Here's my example:

I just turned 24. A few days after, I realized (and said to myself) that my father was 24 when he had me. I am now as old as my father was when I was born. I don't consider myself to be 'old', but I have always imagined my father as 'old'. However, I never imagined Gramma Aitken as 'old'. And I still don't think that Gramps is 'old' at 92 this August. I guess it is, judging by everyone's reactions when I tell them of his impending age. Human perceptions of time and age are quite intricate and intriguing, especially when you relate the two.

So in short, realize sooner than later (if you haven't already) that your grandparents are wonderful people. You, as the grandchild, are the fruition of every hope, wish and desire that they have ever had and for which they have lived and prayed. Don't parents want this too, you're asking? Sure they do. But it is inexplicably different. You are them, literally and figuratively, two generations later. They want the best for you, and they want you to learn everything that you can from life. Gramma taught me so much, even in her death - profound to be sure. It is almost as profound as her love of life, family and me...and mine for her and Gramps.

So here's to Sara Ella, Donald Francis, and all grandparents out there. Remember - with having you as grandchildren, your grandparents get to be kids again. What a gift you are to them!



Here's a clip of "Irish Tune from County Derry" aka Londonderry air/Danny Boy, composed by Percy Grainger, a wind band composer and saxophonist of Australian descent. Gramma loved this song. Happy Birthday, Gramma...